Things not to do.

Dont licks metal thing in the cold

unless you like you tongue with less skin on than usual.

Dont believe somebody when they say they "need more time",

what this means is,they need more time without you in it,

Dont bite the hand that feeds,punch it in the knuckles and intimidate it,

Dont buy fast food with a drink,the drink is never what you ask for

Dont make any decisions whilst under the influence of aclohol,

or any other substance for that matter,decisions should not be made withou a clear head,

Dont "fake" playing an instrument.,also if your gonna fake it,dont buy chinese,buy american

Dont forget,that you need an average amount of BS evey day,just so you have got something to gague the truth against

Dont feel guilty for making decisions that you really did want to make,

Dont feel guilty for not feeling guilty

Do go into Macdonalds and ask for something with no sugar,they have a panic button for that 

If you do feel guilty regarding the second last point there,

Burn  a plastic cow,its what the cool kids do,

Roses are red..............

Roses are red
Violest are blue,
I have a gun.
Get in the van.

Plagiarism of myself in a past life,is this legal?

God i hate the snow,
but hey it keeps the kids happy,so its not all bad
well not ll bad,what gets me about the snow is that
people make a big deal out of it,its frozen water,
get a grip if its that great how come i never catch
you late at night at night scraping the freezer for one
more little bit,
our very clever government,have now give prisoners serving
fewer than four years the right to vote,ooh another
one to add to the tally,i actually dread looking
at the news sites over the last while,because of the
amount of assualts on our basic freedoms,and also the
softness given if you have done wrong.you have your playstations
and tv and so on,now the right to vote,what next? day trips to butlins
or hardened criminals packing my shopping when i go to the supermarket?

i can piture it now "leave a tip in the bucket,its going to a good cause,ie:i'm
not going to rob,rape,murder or violate you""oh gee thanks,how thoughtful of you,
aint the weather great these days?" "oh it certainly is,but the nights are drawing in,
but i work better under the cover of darkness......."

I can see from the news that the big DC is now on the case,he's spoken
at his "anger at the decision",well big man,realistically if theres anybody in this place,
its you pal,don't talk about your anger at it,doo something about it before its all forgotten,
and just another statistic.

another lifer pissed of at losing the right to vote?saw this one on the bbc site,and quite frankly
mate,why are you that bothered not much can really change in your 6' by 8',man up and enjoy the life you
created for yourself.

who's gettin an i pad for christmas?not me,i have a pefrectly good netbook,but oh,wait,its not got "wow" factor.
my life is over, i cant go on....................

Not so guitary music

Now i'm not a big dance music fan,well not the sort of stuff i'm subjected to on an almost daily basis by un-nameables.But there just something about this tune......

Big job interview

Big job interview tomorrow,10am
Getting quite nervous about it now,
Tick tock tick tock the minutes getting closer,
I always get nervous at interviews,
But i alway get the job,so theres really nothing to worry about,
Is there?

If my intelligence and sense of humour dont do it for these guys tomorrow,
maybe the 6 inch hunting knife strapped to my ankle will sway the vote,

who knows? i reckon i'd be perfect for the position.

the trilogy pt 3

The numbers for me just dont add up sometimes,
you buy a tin of hotdogs.you get 8,you buy a pack
of hot dog rolls you get 6,that averages out
to 1.33 hotdogs per roll.ok folks,got the hot dogs,
the rolls,fried onions,ketchup and mustard,but i'm missing one thing,
my hot dog slicer.why must the continue to do this to us,
Another thing,with television and dvd's and so on,you can go ou and buy literally thousands
of different television series boxsets on dvd.now i must applaud the inventors of television
dvd and the like.but the all missed one simple thing,that giving the current available technology
and how good things are,how far we have com in the last 25 years.please people,if your gonna
put out a dvd set of the tv show i love,please,for gods sake,dont split up the 2 parter episodes
on different discs,this means i have to get out of my chair and change the disk,this means
i am literally wasting my remote contol.
On another note,in the nes today,i notice that canadadians have have lengthened the sentence of a pakistani
born terrorist from 10 years to life,good you desrve it mate,all the could have been victims you could have killed
or maimed,they are all alive and well,and your live is over.shame,what i would have done with him,strapped a big bloody
timebomb to him,and drop him in some backwoods valley,handcuffed,nowhere near any thing you could damage,let him run around
mental and the BANG!,no great loss.
back to the number anyway, They say Pi is 3.14,i prefer apple to be honest,but thats just me,15% cynic 15% concerned citizen
62% serious.
Theres on evil in this world,it's people who leave bowls of food under ther bed until they rot,then put the bowl through for washing
on top of kitchen board,with the food and mold still in the bowl.
Keeping in with the food themed rant,yesterday i watched 2 stagsfighting in the woods next to my office,a sight of
natural beauty some would say,but all i see is a lot of venison steaks,with chips and onions.
I do love our little chats tho people,i havent had to pull out my pepper spray,or hobble any of you,yet.
we are now a week away from christmas,which means only 53 shopping weeks until next christmas,that gives
me 52 weeks to put on 150 pounds grow a beard,get a big red suit.and come creeping doon your chimney!wooohaaahha.

pt 2

Back again i see clarice,ive been expecting you...........
the difficult or destroying second album,the one where it becomes clear if you are filled with the true grit
 that is needed to survive,i sit here writing this bile in a cold darkly lit office,in one hand a cup of strong
black coffee.i'm currently debating standng up and telling the whole office in no uncertian terms,frankly your
screwed,but keep that for later.
something struck me the other day,i was watching friends,i'm not proud of it i was bored,and there not much else
to do on a cold wet wednesday evening in Jonestown. what got me was that they had cut out a very qeustionable
"swear" word,becaue of the time of day this program was on,now lets face it,friends isnt exactly texas chainsaw
massacre,or last house on the left,nothing there that really should be questionable.but it was cut anyway.then
overhearing somebody talking about the x-factor finals(now ive never been bored enough to watch it,just for therecord,i have standards)
but as far as i was aware,it was some scantilly clad chick in a bikini,dancing
 provocatively.and pretending to sing.another crappy cover of probably a reasonable song.the sad thin is,
there was probably a lot of kids watching it,caus i guess the would watch it,am i right here? or wrong?.
the flaws of society at the moment,are obvious,too obvious,but no body seems to be interested in voicing
opinion on it.may i ask why?
one last thing-i read great book the other day,it was called "we sold out,sold our souls,are no longer
relevant,but you love it,so heres some more unimaginative tripe,whick you will buy,because you love us"
answer on a postcard for the answers for that one.

What is the world coming to? pt1

2 strories i heard today while on the radio at work almost sickeneds me,
1st one; Iraqi Kurd man jailed for hit & run killing, but not wanting to be deported,as this would be a
breach of human rights !
2nd one; disabled protestor causing hoo haa about treatment by police at protest.
i dont want to come across as being a racist or having anything against disabled people and so on,and i
am totally behind equal rights for disabled people.
but i find both of these people to be very,if not completely hypocritical.
2 points to be made here:
1: if your going to go on about human rights my friend,dont mow down little girls in your car then flee the scene.
your a killer,face it.until you have repaid your debt to society for depriving a family of a child,you have no human rights.
2: if your gonna go protest about stuff,be willing to take the concequences,even if you are in a wheelchair.
if you put yourself in the same position as the more able bodied protesters,ie right on the front line of
the protest then be prepared to be treated the same,as opposed to whining about your treatment.man up,get on with it.
you wanted to be treated like a normal person,here you are,you put yourself i that position,the police
have the right to do what the do.
Sorry if this reads cold or harsh, but thats the way it is,